I Wanted To Die To Face Not The Next Day

I was so fearful, I did not want to wake up, the only problem was I can't even sleep. Yes, I've been in that desperate situation. I prayed and prayed even if I can't feel the prayer I was saying. I found no comfort. I wanted to turn numb and hopefully evaporate.

I was blank on what to do, so I remained lying down in prayer in a fetus position. The phrase "Be still and know that I am God", came to me.

I frequented the Adoration Chapel of our Parish during the hour of great mercy, that's 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

Then, I started to calm down and just let things be, going with the flow. My fear, little by little left me. I found myself completely leaning on the Lord, in the midst of not understanding what is going to happen.

Things got worse before they got better. At the peak of my fears, I run to the Adoration Chapel.

Suddenly, I became aware that I am still alive even with all my pains. I began to be plain grateful. I am suffering, but not to the point of bleeding, like Christ.

My problem lightened. Note that it did not disappear, but it amazed me that it lost its power over me. I was free.

Now, I want to share this for those who feel hopeless at the moment.

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The song "You Are Mine" contain words that speak directly to one with a heart full of fears like how I was then . . .

...I will lift you from all your fears
...Be still, and know I am near.

I am strength for all the despairing …
I am hope for all who are hopeless
...Come and rest in Me.

...I am the peace the world cannot give
I will call your name, embracing all your pain

Do not be afraid, I am with you …
...Stand up, now, walk, and live.